What day is it?

Monday:
Bride brain. I walk into a room and forget what I came in for. Frequently. My mind is ping-ponging from one thought to another. Five minutes later I snap to. This foreign behavior is unsettling. Must make more to-do's. Focus. One thing at a time. Breathe.

Scrambling to get our house ready for my family who's staying here until the hotel block starts. So much to do. My mind is racing thinking about everything that remains between now and Saturday morning...

Thank goodness Mr. PaC and I are both off from work today. We spent a few hours at the mall purchasing parent gifts, buying bulk items from Costco for the OOT bags and doing as much as we can in advance.

Tuesday:
I want to put my phone and email on Do Not Disturb. And simply chill between now and the big day. We've busted our butts to earn this week of nothing to do. It's been pretty quiet since the 30 day mark. (Hel-lo Mexico trip!)

But the chaos is descending. My mom, sister and aunt arrived today in between my dentist appointment and our last dance lesson. Suddenly, I'm activities coordinator for everyone while trying to tie up all these loose ends, stay cool (OMG it's so hot) and remember to eat.

Everyone wants to help. We've been asked variants of this question more times than we heard "When's the big day?" or "What are your colors?" but there's nothing left to do. Mr. PaC and I have done it all in our luxurious 19 months. If I'm being completely honest, I'm happiest when working quietly by myself or alongside Mr. PaC. We're often on the same wavelength so projects don't need a lot of explaining or discussion. So relieved there are no projects remaining. I don't see how I'd have the time or energy to complete them without a moment to myself.

Oh, eat.

Wednesday:
It's lovely having my family stay in our little house, but I need some space. To give them a place to sleep, the "wedding room" has been emptied of its boxes (now in the kitchen) and OOT bags (tucked into corners of the living room). I still need to pack for the honeymoon, which will have to wait until I get our guest bedroom back.

A quick check of the forecast made my tummy flip-flop: thunderstorm? Reading further: scattered thunderstorms, 30%. Phew.

I travel with a posse now. We're so big we need a minivan. Yeh, that's how I roll. (My car's AC crapped out last Friday [the first hot day] and I don't have time to get it recharged.) My sister drives the minivan while I provide directions. We drove all over today. Airport pick-ups, hotel drop-offs, hotel pick-ups and caravaning to Mr. PaC's dad's house for a welcome dinner. It's like herding cats.

Oh, and my dad is super sick and weak. Oh, eat.

Thursday (today):
For a few weeks now I've said how surreal this whole experience is. It doesn't feel like something huge is coming. Certainly not a party for 85 people. But this morning, the knot of nervous energy in my tummy says otherwise. Mr. PaC was up super early this morning; he's anxious too. His mom arrives soon with the last goodies for the OOT bags. Today is an errand day. Where's my list?

It's a little after 11am and my cell rang for the first time. Not too bad. It's Mom reporting in. Dad is not doing better. His coughing kept her awake for most of the night. My sister, sharing their room, miraculously (ahem, 4 drinks at hotel bar) slept through the disturbance. They want to visit Terrain @ Styers and wineries. I encourage them to go without me. It's better for everyone's sanity.

Hive, so glad we could catch up -- even if it's been me doing all the talking today! It's been a whirlwind of a week. We still have two more days to go. I now understand why newlyweds sleep the first two days of their honeymoon. Hoping to pop back in once or twice more before the big day.

(Oh, eat.)

Dancing Myself Into A Corner

Hive, I need your help! With a week to go before the wedding, I haven’t picked a father-daughter dance song. Well... that’s not entirely true. The two songs I picked were shot down by Daddy PaC. And we haven’t come up with anything suitable since then.

Some helpful background information:

I'm so proud of my dad.

Table for 16

The last time we talked about this project, I'd just found the silk flowers to honor our grandmothers. Because we're short on time (OMG! 10 days left!!), how about we fast forward a bit?


This is the hunt table where our photos, guestbook and escort cards will be displayed. Lest you worry like I did that it won't be large enough, let me tell you this is one beefy table. As in, 10.5 feet long by 3 feet wide. Plenty o' room.

April Showers

For April Fool's day, my parents arrived for a little visit just 60 days out from the big day. With my sister. And my cousin J, who's never visited us before. But nothing funny was going on. When I tried to pin down activities for the weekend, they were vague and indecisive. Bridesmaid R and my FMIL had been unusually quiet in the previous weeks. And poor Mr. Pain au Chocolat had been stressing all week about preparing the house for my family, stockpiling food and scrutinizing every corner of the house. What is going on?


My (surprise) bridal shower!

Forget-me-not

(Not trying to be a Debbie Downer with this post - bear with me, it gets better.)

Early in our engagement, Mr. P's grandmother passed away followed a year later by his grandfather. Finding a way to honor loved ones who are no longer with us became a priority. I suggested a photo display of portraits and weddings to Mr. P and he thought it was a lovely idea.

Mrs. Jellyfish's elegant photo table, one of my favorite examples
A few weeks ago, I had an ah-ha moment. Our photo table will have an extra layer of detail and sentimentality. (We're determined to make our guests cry...) For each grandmother that has passed, a single bloom of her favorite flower will be interspersed among the photos with a tent card explaining the significance.


My great-grandmother, Granny Greene, loved pink peonies ("panhk" with her southern accent), which grew in abundance around her Arkansas home.

NYC weekend

This past weekend Mr. P and I ran up to northern NJ to see his brother for his birthday. Any visit there isn't complete without popping into the The City. Oh yes! *excited dance* With six hours to kill before our dinner reservation, the below freezing and windy weather didn't slow us down one bit.


Sight-seeing from the High Line doubled as our diversionary route between destinations: Eataly and the Chelsea Market. It's a much better way to walk the city! No waiting at lights and a lot less people, all like-minded cold weather wanderers.

Looking toward 18th St. entrance
Fantastic architecture: IAC Building
Sunset over the Hudson River from our vantage point on the High Line

Happy Birthday M!

Happy happy birthday to our Best Man (and my future brother-in-law)!


The boys - 1977
We'll see you soon and we're bringing cake!

12-30-1979

Happy anniversary Mom & Dad!

Thirty-one years!

Home for the Holidays

We're spending a few days at my parents' house for an early Christmas. Trying the alternating method for holiday time with our parents until we have kidlets. This year is a "stay home year" but my folks couldn't make the trip to Delaware later this month. The upside to celebrating the holidays early means no procrastinating on presents, less stress and more holidayness.

While I'm home, I thought it'd be nice to finally clear out my boxes of stuff. Last night I found notes from each year of high school. Not kept in a shoe box but a binder in protective sleeves, organized by year. Apparently my organizational tendencies go back further than Brian and I realized. Digging past the notes, I found old school newspapers, book reports, class schedules, awkward artwork, etc. Most of it got tossed, notably love letters from my first boyfriend and diaries... some things I am not sentimental about!

Tomorrow I'm tackling the baby albums.

When did you start delving into the family archives? What did you find?

We need a wedding

Our holiday weekend in New Jersey was meant to end on Friday morning, but it's late Monday night and we're just now returning. Tragedy struck Thanksgiving night. Mr. P's grandfather suffered a fatal heart attack, which we unfortunately (and fortunately) witnessed. This is the third Thanksgiving in a row that we have spent in mourning. (It's the fourth death in 3 years for the family.) I'm beginning to think there is a black cloud over the holiday and our engagement.

To say we are exhausted is putting it lightly.

Un-Registry: China

A half century ago, a forward-thinking family member with great taste picked out a modern white and platinum banded pattern that we inherited. We have been saved from the frustration of hours spent shopping (and inevitably compromising) on a fine china pattern! It's actually very close to what we would have picked out. The tailored bands appeal to my graphic design sensibilities and the bright white color allows the food to speak for itself (something we feel strongly about). The upside is that it's simple enough to dress up with a second pattern or colored plate should we decide to get a little wild and crazy.

(source: 1 & 2)

Meet and Greenville

Family visit to our venue! I scheduled a summertime scoping-out session so Mom, Dad and Sister L could see our lovely venue in person.

Entrance
Grand foyer and ornate brass chandelier
We toured the grounds with our coordinator as she pointed out the areas for prep, cocktails, ceremony and dinner/dancing.

Old, embarrassing family photos...

Back in town after a weekend trip downstate to see Mr. P's mom. Since he would be working around the house, I had to find something to occupy myself. Something productive. She has a (treasure) chest filled with old family photos, many of which I haven't seen. Scanning in all the photos sounded like a reasonable project. Except there are close to a thousand images...

We brought six albums home for me to work during the week.

Say hi to baby Mr. P!

Shop til you drop

My family arrived for their much-anticipated vacation to tropical, sunny... no wait, they came to Delaware to spend their well-deserved vacation week with me! The last week of June was hot. Like heat index pushing 100 degrees, melt your face hot. We spent three days in a row in air-conditioned shopping bliss (King of Prussia, the flagship Anthropologie in Rittenhouse Square & Christiana Mall); ideal for the ladies, not so ideal for Dad and Mr. P.


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The non-stop shop-a-thon included knocking a few items off the wedding to-do list. Our first wedding stop was bridesmaid dress shopping at the Ardmore (read: upscale) Priscilla of Boston. BM R and I had the advantage of previewing gowns so we came prepared with a list since it worked well before. We were not missing any good ones due to sensory overload! (Ooooo, foreshadowing.)

Long-distance dress discussions

Mom and Dad live 8 hours away. It is so frustrating to go gown shopping without her! I had to devise a way to include her in the experience without her physically being there...

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It's a long drive between here and there.

Blue laws and bridal stores

Every time we're in north Jersey visiting family, we drive past so many stores I'd love to go into. But they're always closed! WTH?! Because of the county's blue laws, retail establishments selling non-perishables are not permitted open on Sundays. Well, that is really inconvenient for this out-of-town shopper! I'll look forlornly at my favorite furniture and home goods stores, parking lots empty. But recently I've noticed bridal stores whizzing past. Let's stop there instead!

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Lucky me when a Saturday morning opportunity presented itself. Next to the Container Store was Bijou Bridal. That's just cruel, making me choose between those two stores!

Something old...

When FMIL visited for Valentine's Day 2010, she presented me with her mother's Bride's Magazine Summer issue from 1941. The magazine hadn't seen the light of day in decades. Sadly, Mr. P's grandmother passed shortly after our engagement in November 2009. The magazine was found when she and her sister were sorting through her things with their father. And it disappeared soon after - before anyone could look at it! FMIL thought it was gone for good. She asked after it and her father said he knew where it was and had a plan for it. She chalked it up to forgetfulness. Until... he produced it some months later explaining he had tucked it away for the new bride (omg, that's me) and instructed her to pass it on.

I was afraid to touch the envelope and magazine without white gloves to keep oils off the 70 year old pages. Instead of socializing with Mr. P and everyone else, I discretely spun my chair around to look at the pages in private. What a relic! A calla lily from her bridal bouquet was pressed between the pages. "That flower is way older than me..." I couldn't believe what I was holding. Instant family heirloom.

Less talky, more pictures.

My, oh my. How things have changed.

High-fives and Hugs

After striking out at so many venues, we started to question if we'd ever find a place to get married. Location is the all-important decision that determines so much: date, attire, food, colors... on and on. If we caved on location, would our wedding still reflect us? And what else would we have to settle for?

Bridesmaid R and I discussed the pros/cons of the many venues. Nothing was clicking. We were running out of viable options. She had seen photos of a friend's wedding at this gorgeous venue, but couldn't remember the name of it. I'd forgotten about it in a week's time, but she followed through (beseechingly emailed the bride) and recommended I check it out. Okay, many well intentioned friends and associates have recommended venues/vendors and none of them panned out. Things were about to turn around!

The mysterious venue was revealed to be...

Valentine's Day 2010

In the middle of winter's many snowstorms, we hosted a Valentine's dinner for four of our friends. Four bottles of red wine, Sauternes, port, cherry lambic and miscellaneous beer flowed freely while we noshed on a sizable beef tenderloin, roasted veggies, antipasta, caesar salad plus a chocolate layer cake with hazelnut brittle for dessert.

Mmmm, appetizers.

How many bridal stores does it take?!

More dress shopping! Future mother-in-law (FMIL, not FML) hadn't done anything wedding related with us yet; I thought she'd be interested. Mr. P had barely gotten out, "Miss P was thinking of visiting some bridal..." before she let out excited squeaks. I think that's a yes. The night before the bridal appointment, the girls sat up until 2am pouring over the wedding binder. As a mother of two boys, she was happy to be included AND excited about the styles of dresses the next day.

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Per the instructions from just about every bridal salon, I wore no make-up. After all, they don't want your make-up rubbing off on the white dresses. Jewelry, aside from my engagement ring, was left at home. My hair was pulled back to expedite matters and keep the static to a minimum. Compounding the ugly was my "winter tan," weight I didn't know I'd gained and a decision to wear glasses instead of contacts.

Ladies, a word of advice: You wouldn't shop for bathing suits and jeans when you look like crap. At least not with positive results... So don't do it when wedding dress shopping. Your self-esteem will thank you.