What day is it?

Monday:
Bride brain. I walk into a room and forget what I came in for. Frequently. My mind is ping-ponging from one thought to another. Five minutes later I snap to. This foreign behavior is unsettling. Must make more to-do's. Focus. One thing at a time. Breathe.

Scrambling to get our house ready for my family who's staying here until the hotel block starts. So much to do. My mind is racing thinking about everything that remains between now and Saturday morning...

Thank goodness Mr. PaC and I are both off from work today. We spent a few hours at the mall purchasing parent gifts, buying bulk items from Costco for the OOT bags and doing as much as we can in advance.

Tuesday:
I want to put my phone and email on Do Not Disturb. And simply chill between now and the big day. We've busted our butts to earn this week of nothing to do. It's been pretty quiet since the 30 day mark. (Hel-lo Mexico trip!)

But the chaos is descending. My mom, sister and aunt arrived today in between my dentist appointment and our last dance lesson. Suddenly, I'm activities coordinator for everyone while trying to tie up all these loose ends, stay cool (OMG it's so hot) and remember to eat.

Everyone wants to help. We've been asked variants of this question more times than we heard "When's the big day?" or "What are your colors?" but there's nothing left to do. Mr. PaC and I have done it all in our luxurious 19 months. If I'm being completely honest, I'm happiest when working quietly by myself or alongside Mr. PaC. We're often on the same wavelength so projects don't need a lot of explaining or discussion. So relieved there are no projects remaining. I don't see how I'd have the time or energy to complete them without a moment to myself.

Oh, eat.

Wednesday:
It's lovely having my family stay in our little house, but I need some space. To give them a place to sleep, the "wedding room" has been emptied of its boxes (now in the kitchen) and OOT bags (tucked into corners of the living room). I still need to pack for the honeymoon, which will have to wait until I get our guest bedroom back.

A quick check of the forecast made my tummy flip-flop: thunderstorm? Reading further: scattered thunderstorms, 30%. Phew.

I travel with a posse now. We're so big we need a minivan. Yeh, that's how I roll. (My car's AC crapped out last Friday [the first hot day] and I don't have time to get it recharged.) My sister drives the minivan while I provide directions. We drove all over today. Airport pick-ups, hotel drop-offs, hotel pick-ups and caravaning to Mr. PaC's dad's house for a welcome dinner. It's like herding cats.

Oh, and my dad is super sick and weak. Oh, eat.

Thursday (today):
For a few weeks now I've said how surreal this whole experience is. It doesn't feel like something huge is coming. Certainly not a party for 85 people. But this morning, the knot of nervous energy in my tummy says otherwise. Mr. PaC was up super early this morning; he's anxious too. His mom arrives soon with the last goodies for the OOT bags. Today is an errand day. Where's my list?

It's a little after 11am and my cell rang for the first time. Not too bad. It's Mom reporting in. Dad is not doing better. His coughing kept her awake for most of the night. My sister, sharing their room, miraculously (ahem, 4 drinks at hotel bar) slept through the disturbance. They want to visit Terrain @ Styers and wineries. I encourage them to go without me. It's better for everyone's sanity.

Hive, so glad we could catch up -- even if it's been me doing all the talking today! It's been a whirlwind of a week. We still have two more days to go. I now understand why newlyweds sleep the first two days of their honeymoon. Hoping to pop back in once or twice more before the big day.

(Oh, eat.)

Gettin' stuff done

I am amazed how many things we ticked off our looming to-do list this weekend.

1. My dress - It fits. (More or less.) The bodice needs to be taken in, but the length is perfect when I have my Seychelles sandals on. Aaaaand, the blush tone drop earrings picked up last weekend work. They just work. Phew!

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2. Mr. P's suit - OMG, a decision has been made! The men will be wearing navy! It took just a half hour at Jos. A Bank with Mr. P and his groomsman to find the male version of The One. Mr. P, his brother/BM, groomsman J and even Mr. P's father have ordered suits.

Lights, camera, action! Lights... lights??

Guess what I overlooked? Yep, lighting.

My lightbulb moment came this afternoon as I was running down our list of vendors. It's an easy thing to overlook. DJs or tent companies are the usual suspects. For our reception, there is no tent company as the tent comes with the venue. Our DJ can provide uplighting or dance lighting (No thank you, we don't want Mr. P to start rave dancing. I'm looking at you Mr. P!). But what about overhead lighting?

It's not like I haven't thought about what we'd like. Here's some of my inspiration images for inside our tent.

Love the cluster of lanterns:
source: left & right
Mix in some color and texture (you know me). Group them on the ground.

Time isn't on my side

"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once." - Einstein

Then why does it feel like these last 6 months are a pile of rapidly compressing marshmellows massing into one humongous, melting, out of control giant 'mellow. (Perhaps dessert is my next "to do"! Seriously, is there anything better than a homemade marshmellow dipped in dark chocolate?)

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Officially speaking

The officiant search started in August, stalled in September and October, then resumed in November. Now that's it's December 1st, we're ready to pick an officiant. Finally, right? I don't know why we took so long to make a decision! It took all of 15 minutes to review the available officiants, select a package and email the coordinator. Procrastinating just made it worse and turned it into something that gave us agita, like preparing and filing our self-employed tax returns.

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Countdown: 7 months

With exactly seven months until the big "I do" to do, my mind is on all the things left undone.

To-do list items that are still nagging me:

1. Book officiant.
2. Design invitation suite.

We've thought up every excuse in the book to delay finding an officiant. The search started in August with 5 "feeler emails" which was then pared down to 3 in early October. Last week we were thisclose. Until the guy emailed a few days before our scheduled meet and greet to cancel. Another couple had booked him. The search (and knot in my stomach) resumed.

It's tough selecting a perfect stranger from a field of other perfect strangers to oversee and perform such an intimate ceremony. We have a closer relationship with our neighborhood bartender than our local clergy; unfortunately, the bartender is not ordained.

Hey man, can I get a White Russian?
And then there's the invitation suite. I would prefer to have started it in September, or even October, but more pressing to-do's popped up - and so it was back-burnered. Honestly, the more time I have to fiddle with the design, the more it'll keep changing. It's better I'm putting it off. Brian has caught on that I should have started already. Darn you, shared GoogleDocs to do list. It should be relatively easy to design and print, considering my background. I'm keeping it simple. Now tell me how naive I am and you'll see me in 4 weeks when I'm curled up in the fetal position.

How's your to-do list looking? Am I budgeting enough time?

Joel the Jeweler

Put on your coat! It's about to get chilly in here from all this ice!

We had a date yesterday - with Joel the Jeweler! Mr. P bought my engagement ring from Joel (a friend of a friend) last year. According to my timetable, it's time to start shopping for wedding bands. I left the ring file at home; I've got it all stored in my bride brain.

Walking hand-in-hand to the store, I was a touch giddy. Which faded into nervous-giddy as soon as we walked over to the first jewelry case. Peering into the cases, all of the rings seemed pretty similar: simple bands with a row of diamonds that either went halfway or all the way around the ring (eternity). None of them were really singing to me.

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Joel asked which I'd like to see. (My brain: "None of them" is not an appropriate answer, Miss P.) Long pause, then unconvinced pointing. We tried a few "plain" delicate bands that matched the band on my e-ring. Nothing. It's too early to settle so I held out for something different, more artsy.

Moving on... Thicker plain bands, pave, channel set, and detailed scrollwork designs also failed to impress.

Ready, set - no, no wait!

It was when we found ourselves standing among 10 different sets of pots and pans at Macy's that we realized we were woefully under-educated. Coated non-stick or stainless steel? Copper core or aluminum? Three-ply or five-ply? All-Clad or Calphalon? Woah... I'm feeling a little dizzy.

Who knew copper could be so sexy?
This is pretty much how our first pre-registering trip started. If we're going to look like idiots, I prefer we look like idiots at Macy's instead of Williams-Sonoma. But that didn't happen. After a long, careful study of the various WS cookware lines, things weren't much clearer.

Cheap, even with other people's money

We (read: mostly me) began brainstorming for our registry in early 2010. Thinking with the registry in mind, we paid attention to what kitchen items received heavy or little use. Our nicked paring knife that's always dirty? Put two new ones on the list. The rattling, sucky (in a bad way) vacuum cleaner on its last leg, thread bare sheet set, torn guest comforter, hand-me-down flatware and Teflon pan losing its coating - all gone.


Sad, sad knife

They still make it? (source)
Emphasizing that we are not being greedy, I've been able to convince Mr. P that broken, worn-out or less durable items are all acceptable to replace/upgrade. We're planning a lifetime together and our stuff should stick around for at least half that time. He laughs that even when he isn't buying, he's cheap. The months of careful cultivation and detailed research will hopefully yield a solid housekeeping foundation.

eeny meeny miny moe: Uma, Fiesole or ??

I had been eagerly anticipating the bridal appointment like a little girl for over a week! Can't believe my good fortune in spotting gowns I adore and can afford (with a small budget stretch if need be). BM R and I hiked 45 minutes in rush hour traffic for our evening appointment at Priscilla of Boston. The salon attendants told us we could look around, but there was no need to since I had a list of gowns on my phone. This list ensures I don't overlook any in my excitement.

Priscilla of Boston - Ardmore
We were ushered into the dressing room lobby, which we had all to ourselves! Erika, my consultant, explained the process and gathered a little information about me and the wedding. One of her questions, "What do you do for a living?" was interesting. This telling question predicts with some accuracy what type of gown a bride will prefer. When she asked if I knew which gowns I wanted to see, I hesitantly explained that I had a list on my phone, if that was easier. She was impressed with the organization as she skimmed the list, noting none of her brides had ever gone quite this far before.

MUA

MUA? Love you too!?? I'm actually talking about make-up artists.

I've procrastinated long enough. Now that our engagement shoot is scheduled, I need to find someone to do my make-up and hair. ASAP. I'm not clueless about make-up but would feel much more confident if a professional helped me out. We're not taking our own pictures because that wouldn't turn out so well... so why approach hair and make-up any differently? It'd be a waste of good money to show up to our e-session with unkempt hair and work-day makeup.

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Sooooo, I've contacted a few studios to get an idea of costs and availability. I know the number they're going to email back will have three digits. I just don't know what that first digit will be... Looking good is gonna cost me and I'm fine with that. Just don't make me look like a clown.

Did you use a make-up artist for your wedding or engagement shoot? Any regrets or words of advice?

Venues, meet GoogleDocs.

When we're not touring venues, I'm keeping track of the misc data in a spreadsheet so we're better able to compare them. Because that's what I do... organize and plan. Thanks Google Docs!








Initially, Winterthur seemed like an outrageous option, but when it was broken down into what you get for the money, quality of service and reputation, it surpasses the cheaper options (at less desirable locations). Really need to crack down on the budget and guest list. Hoping that the hold-up with my folks is just them waiting to see the average costs of other sites before deciding.

A handful of venues still need to get back to us with costs, inclusions and restrictions. It will be the fastest way to rule out a site without a visit, which is smart when you consider this is the girl that brainstormed a 60+ venue list.

Secret garden hosts a wedding?

Shortly after visiting the DCCA, we were onto our second impromptu scouting trip of the day - the Italianate formal gardens and reflecting pool at Gibraltar. All the years I've lived around the corner, I never ventured in past the stone privacy walls. What an idiot I was!

Run down buildings,
now slated for massive renovation into commercial space
This place is gorgeous, even in January... without the beds tidied up and no flowers. (No one wants to see photos of a garden in winter, so I've swapped the originals with more seasonally appropriate images.) It has a forgotten/secret garden feel, which works well to satisfy the quirkiness aspect of our dream venue. Lots of amazing spots for a ceremony thanks to the "rooms" Marian Coffin designed.

Spring and summer

Deer in headlights (or My First Bridal Expo)

Bridesmaid R and I paired up to tackle my first bridal expo. It was a rainy, foggy January afternoon - awful for anything but staying inside. Everyone else must have had the same thought because the event hall at the local university was packed! It was absolute chaos between the vendors, staff and guests. I was overloaded and thankful when BM R stepped up and made her way through the crowds past the registration table. (We only needed to "check in" if we wanted to be entered in the drawings.)

A quick scan around the main room revealed a wide variety of vendors: cakes, caterers, photographer, videographers, hotels, salons and dress shops. How best to tackle this melee? Dive right in! Actually, it was more like shoehorn your way in. Yes, there were brides there. And they brought everyone in their family and wedding party with them. There was a strong contingent that appeared to attend every bridal expo for the goodies.

Guest list spreadsheet

Reconciling 2 databases plus 2 online accounts for mailing addresses and email contacts for our family and friends. I thought it was organized but I started this project 1.5 hours ago. Seems there are some mighty big holes in my system. (I blame the transfer from my old G5 desktop to the shiny new laptop.)


Among the fields on the new spreadsheet that I won't be collecting, at least this far in advance... dietary restrictions.

What method do you use to keep the guest list organized?

Cake cake cake!

Can you tell I'm excited? Our first meeting with prospective baker #1 is this afternoon. Not sure what we'll need but I'm bringing my laptop and binder... and a fork. Mr. P suggested bringing a pint of milk. He may be on to something.

Note to co-workers: Expect me to be on an obnoxious sugar high later.

Timeline - 10 months out

I don't know whose bright idea (mine) it was to create a To Do Timeline late last night. Aren't these things supposed to give you inner peace? Mine has just increasing the crushing weight on my chest. Breathe... in through the nose, out through the mouth.

Ten months does NOT seem like enough time. Mr. P... ?